Uncomfortable....

I was given a reality check yesterday and I can tell you it wasn't very fun. I haven't blogged in a while because I haven't wanted to be very transparent. I haven't wanted to write about what's been going on in my life or the path The Lord has me on right now. He has. These past few months He has rocked my world. He's thrown some twists and turns along the path that I didn't see coming. That I didn't want to happen. That have hurt me to the core. And you know what I hate the most about it? I didn't realize the reason I've been wrestling so much until someone pointed it out to me yesterday. That He's made me uncomfortable.

I do. I like to be comfortable. I like to know what's coming next. I like to have all of my ducks in a row. I like to be in control. It's OK God. I've got this. I know what's best. This is not how my life is supposed to unfold. Has been the conversation playing over and over again in my head these past few weeks. And you know what...I can just picture Him looking so lovingly down from Heaven saying...Sweet thing let go. Let go of your plan & trust me with mine. I created you and because of that you are good enough. Let it all go. Give me control. Step out in faith. Trust. I am preparing you for something so big that it will blow your mind because I know your heart better than you do. I created it after all.

So today I have a choice. To stop wrestling & let go. Or continue to ask why and question His perfect plan. I do. I choose plan A. I refuse to let the enemy win and believe his lies. I refuse to wrestle with The Lord. I refuse to depend on people to meet my needs. I refuse to stop loving & caring about others. I have His promises to rest in and am praising my sweet Jesus for that. I can't believe I'm saying this but today I'm thankful for uncomfortable. Thankful it's causing me to love Him more. Thankful it's causing me to seek Him more. Thankful that it is pushing me to be a better person. Thankful it's causing me to love others more. Thankful it's taking me to bigger and better things. My only prayer along the way is that I will be a reflection of His love to others as I walk down the path He has for me.

This is my story this is my song. Praising my Savior all the day long. This is my story this is my song. Praising my Savior all the day long.