Interruptions...

So I haven't really blogged in what seems like forever. Most likely because it has been. I've tried to but I just wasn't ready to share my thoughts for everyone to read. Yes, I've been learning a lot about pride lately! You see, this past year has been one of the hardest I've ever been through. I've been in the desert for what seems like forever. And I'm going to be honest. I would love to say I've been using the majority of this time for my good by asking The Lord to show me what it is in my heart that He has wanted to change but sadly I've spent most of it throwing a fit like a Preschooler. Wanting to figure out "the why" Why did The Lord allow the past events in my life to take place and why did they have to end the way they did. Looking back now I realize that I really was being as stubborn as the people in my life who love me were telling me I was being. Until I got slapped up side the head by a sermon I heard on Sunday.

This past Sunday I visited a new church that was opening it's doors for the first time. It's name is Bayou City Fellowship. When Curtis the pastor started preaching I was absolutely floured! You know those sermons? The kind that you feel as if the pastor had been reading your journal? That the message was for you and you alone? That was me Sunday. Seriously y'all! When he started with the word Interruption I knew I had better buckle up and hold on. He said some very specific points that really struck a chord with my heart and that The Lord really used to speak directly to me. That lead me to the conclusion that this past year I have been fighting my interruptions instead of living open to and embracing them. I haven't been asking Jesus to show me the impossible in it but have been closing my heart off to what He was trying to do in my life. Oh my stars I can't imagine how frustrated He was with me & I've spent some time seeking some major forgiveness. I don't know why but on Sunday it clicked. I've been looking at my interruption with wrong eyes. The eyes of a person that veiwed it as a bad thing. That I wasn't good enough. Struggling to figure out what I could have done differently. How I could have changed things. Wanting all of the answers right then and now. And so many more lies straight from the pit of hell. Sunday I found myself throwing up my hands in surrender. Surrendering all that I had been holding onto and had been trying to figure out. Sunday was the first time I was thankful for my interruptions. Thankful it brought me to Bayou City Fellowship to hear the word The Lord had for me that day. It was the first time in a long time I had had a thankful heart & that in itself is something to be thankful for!